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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

He ain't heavy, he's my Grandpa

Right as Christian Audigier became popular, and before I knew what Ed Hardy was, I became profoundly confused at the number of signs around town that exclaimed “We have Ed Hardy!” and “Ed Hardy 50% Off!!!!”, because Ed Hardy is my grandfather’s name.

When I realized that Ed Hardy was a line of clothes with tattoo art, I thought ha ha, that’s funny, grandpa will think that’s hilarious. When I realized that the clothes were purchased exclusively by douchebags, I began to get a little defensive. Let’s be clear now:

Ed Hardy is not clubwear for douchebags. Ed Hardy is an 82 year old retired horticulturalist who lives in White Rock. 

Here is a chart for your convenience:

Ed Hardy (clothing)
Ed Hardy (the man)

          Cheaply made
          Built to last – healthy as a horse at 82
          Ugly concept
          Handsome in his youth and now
          Worn by deadbeat dad Jon Gosslin, who became famous for ditching his wife and 8 kids
          Married to the same woman for 57 years and father of three girls
          Ridiculously expensive
          Grew up during the depression, knows how to save, bargain, and grow his own food
           Only assholes wear it
          You calling my grandpa an asshole?
           Anyone wearing Ed Hardy in my hometown would get beat up
          No one beats up Ed Hardy. Ed Hardy is badass.

So there you have it. There is no comparison.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s move on to one of the many positive contributions the real Ed Hardy has made to this world (and if you’re keeping score: Ed Hardy: 30,000; Christian Audigier: 0): his Caesar salad. Grandpa’s Caesars are the best you’ve ever had. My grandparents both believe in eating healthy, homegrown foods wherever possible. And through the years, they have grown a lot of food in their massive gardens. I admire them for that: it was fashionable when they were my age to serve Technicolor foods to your family. They never, ever did.

This is a real Caesar, and the real, original version didn't have any dairy in it. You can add Parmesan if you like, but it's not necessary:

Ed Hardy's Caesar Salad
(note, this recipe is enough for one dinner-size serving, adjust up or down as needed)

2 tsp extra virgin olive oil
1/2 tsp fresh lemon juice (fresh is key)
1 tsp anchovy paste (or 1 tbsp chopped whole anchovies)
1 tsp whole grain French mustard
1 clove fresh garlic, crushed in a press
sea salt and pepper to taste

Mix the following together well in a small bowl, and drizzle over freshly washed and chopped Romaine hearts. Serve.

Gramps really knocks it out of the park with this salad. If you are not a fish fan, then this version is not for you. However if you are, it's ten times better than what you're used to, I can guarantee that.

Goes great with a back porch and a glass of wine while watching summer come gradually out of hiding. Enjoy!


  1. There are any number of debates about what was in the original Caesar from Caesar doubt it is probably an evolution with multiple iterations but I can't imagine it without the coddled egg. I also learned that the original had a dash of Worstershire but who knows.

    I may not make my Caesar as your Grandfather but I do believe, even though I've never met him, that he is infinitely cooler than the other Ed Hardy or anyone who wears the same....thanks for the great posts!

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