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Thursday, June 16, 2011

*Facepalm*

I’m typing this with one hand because my other hand is holding my head in shame, which means it’s fairly slow going. I know everyone has something to say about the Vancouver Stanley cup riots, and now it's my turn:

If I could write a letter to all the Vancouver rioters and be sure they would read it, it would go something like this:

Dear Vancouver Rioters,

1994 called, they want their riot back. If you can’t act like grownups, don’t embarrass the rest of us by putting us to worldwide, public shame for your boorishness. Focus your energy instead on a 9-piece jigsaw puzzle, or something else you would find equally as challenging.

No love,

Me

Ugh. I’m humiliated for my city. A few spoiled brat thugs ruined it for the rest of us. Yes we lost. Yes we’re disappointed. Burning our own city? Please. Have your tantrum in private.

A few points of note:

1. Those were not real hockey fans.
2. Somalia, Egypt, Libya? They riot over Government. Vancouver rioted over a lost hockey game
      3. They should have looked to the Canucks for how to behave. They behaved like gentlemen after their loss. Sportsmanlike conduct is a real thing. Look it up, rioters.
      4. Looting? You live in one of the richest countries in the world.

I know no one who participated in the riots. In fact, those people don’t know anyone who did and those people don’t know anyone who did and those people don’t know anyone who did. Please believe that this does not represent Vancouver. We are not a city of thugs. We are a young city who are still working out a few kinks but we are genuinely good at heart. To wit: the over 1000 people who got up at the crack of dawn to help clean up the morning after and continued for most of the day; The Citizen’s Wall at the Bay; sold out flowers at Urban Fare.

In the spirit of peace, friendship and sportsmanship, I made a Boston Cream Pie:

Boston Cream Pie

Cake:
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 ½ cups cake flour
2 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
6 tbsp butter
¾ cup sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
½ cup milk

Filling:
½ cup light cream
½ cup milk
¼ cup sugar
Pinch salt
4 tsp cornstarch
2 eggs
½ tsp vanilla

Chocolate Frosting:
3 1 oz squares semisweet chocolate
2 tbsp butter
¼ cup light cream
½ tsp vanilla extract
½ cup confectioners’ sugar

Preheat the oven to 375. Grease and flour two 9 inch round cake pans. Mix the all-purpose flour, cake flour, baking powder and salt together and set aside.

In a deep bowl cream the 6 tbsp butter with the ¾ cup of sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the 2 eggs, one and a time, then beat in the vanilla. Add the flour mixture alternately with the ½ cup milk in 3 additions, beating the batter smooth after each addition. Divide the batter between the 2 prepared pans. Bake for 15 minutes or until the cakes begin to shrink away from the sides of the pans and centers spring back when lightly pressed. Remove from cake pans. Here's where it gets tricky: scrape around all the sides and as far as you can underneath because this is a fragile cake and will crumble if you don't. You can repair the cracks later with the custard and icing, but still. Leave to cool.


 To make the filling, combine the ½ cup light cream with ¼ cup of milk and cook over medium heat until bubbles begin to form around the edge of the pan. Immediately add ¼ sugar and the salt, stirring until dissolved. Remove the pan from the heat.

In a small bowl, combine the other ¼ cup milk with the cornstarch and whisk to remove lumps. Whisk in the 2 eggs. Add the hot cream mixture in a thin stream, whisking constantly. Return the mixture to the saucepan, bring to a boil, and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until the custard thickens and is smooth (about 5 minutes). Remove from heat and stir in the ½ tsp vanilla and allow to cool to room temp.


To make the chocolate frosting, take a heavy saucepan and over low heat, stir the chocolate pieces and 2 tbsp butter until they are completely melted. Remove from the heat and stirring constantly, add the ¼ cup light cream in a thin steady stream. When mixture is smooth, stir in the confectioners’ sugar and beat vigorously. Stir in the ½ tsp vanilla.


Spread the cooled filling over one of the cooled cakes and place the second cake on top. Pour the chocolate frosting evenly over the top allowing it to spill down the sides.


I humbly offer this pie on behalf of the City of Vancouver to the 2011 Stanley Cup Champions, The Boston Bruins. Congratulations! I’m sorry for the conduct of a few punks after your victory. If you come back, I’ll cook for you anytime.

PS. Zdeno Chara, I’ll still cook for you, but you’re scary with your height. I can’t decide if I want to run away or swing off you like money bars. Just sayin’.

10 comments:

  1. Thanks for putting into words what I was thinking, Geej. One other note, I personally didn't get that those idiot rioters were rioting out of "anger" at the loss of a hockey game. Those douche bags are such losers that they actually just think destroying private and public property, looting and attacking police is FUN. To those indigent, uneducated losers, it's just another way to parrr-tay. Their level of idiocy knows no limits. I hope the rioters go back to their parents' basements where they can continue to not get laid and wait for detectives to smoke them out on Twitter and Facebook where they stupidly posted photos of themselves breaking the law. Rant over :) xo

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  2. Good post. Expresses how many Vancouver-ites feel. And, love your spin with the Boston Cream Pie!

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