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Saturday, May 7, 2011

Potty Mouth: You can't compote with it

I've always had a dirty mouth. I'm not sure where it comes from, or how it started, but I know it's one of the only things in my life that has remained virtually unchanged since I was about 14. Granted, that doesn't say much for my maturity if my language skills haven't changed in 18 years, but that's not exactly what I'm saying. I mean to say swearing and using dirty imagery (you know, the whole premise of this blog) is something I've never thought of as having any particular consequence, positive or negative. It just is what it is. Now I'm not saying I think it's appropriate to go into the President's office at work, give him a high five and say "FUCK YEAH". Nor do I think it's very nice to call your cousin a jerk off at the dinner table in front of your grandparents (although these are examples from my real life). But in harmless ways I have never believed that it makes any difference.

Except recently I've been thinking a lot about the laws of attraction, what makes certain people attracted to others, whether it be friends, lovers, etc. Why certain parents and children get along while others don't (besides obvious reasons in specific cases). Since I have spent a large portion of my life alone (and I don't mean without a relationship, I mean literally solo: I'm an only child and my single parent often worked three jobs to make ends meet. What started as a default situation became my normal, something I actively seek out to this day) sometimes I wonder if I just haven't given enough weight to the social implications of being a dirty broad. Does it make others uncomfortable? Do they assume I'm less intelligent? Is there a down side to being this way?

Sometimes living one's life mostly in vacuum can leave you in a bubble of obliviousness to others perceptions. You can run the risk of not giving alternate views enough weight, by sheer virtue of the fact that they have never really affected you in the past. I'm a little afraid of this and do my best to be aware in almost every other aspect of my life except this one. I can say with a lot of certainty that I have tried, really really tried to give a shit about this in the past. And when it counts, when I know someone doesn't like it and I don't want to hurt them or offend them, I tone it down. I have tried to change to be more professional, less loud, more appealing in a demure sense (and I'm not just talking situationally, I've tried to change this over all). I have meditated on it seriously and thought deeply about it.

My parents both used to get angry with me and encourage me to "act like a lady" or the sarcastic "you're so ladylike". It never hurt my feelings and it wasn't meant to, it was just their observation of my lack of refinement and serenity that girls are traditionally supposed to have. In thinking of my ways, I can't help but feel this notion is a crock of shit. I don't know what it is, or why it is, but it's just the way I have become, the way I am most comfortable. And as I believe that a certain amount of self-examination is healthy; just because I feel comfortable a certain way doesn't necessarily mean it's okay. So I looked at that too. I looked at this topic six ways from Sunday. And no matter what I think on any given day, I always come back to one rather loud internal voice that says: WHO GIVES A SHIT.

I just can't believe that we should take ourselves too seriously. We are NOT the smartest beings in the universe. Our societies are NOT that shit hot. Part of the reason I think I do this so much is that I really believe that we are all kind of a joke. It's healthier and better for us to think this. I don't WANT to be the things that I never could be anyway. I don't want to stop laughing at fart jokes. And I'm happy with that.

So in this spirit, I decided to make decadent french toast in celebration of the fact that I a) know who I am, b) am an adult and can have breakfast whenever I want, and c) because having regular sex is awesome. Just awesome:

Ginger's I Just Got Laid French Toast with Strawberry Rhubarb Compote

4 pieces thick-cut French bread
1 egg
1/2 cup milk

2 stalks rhubarb
5 large strawberries
1 tsp tangerine zest
1/2 tangerine's worth of fresh squeezed juice
capful of vanilla extract
1 tbsp white sugar
2 tbsps grenadine

Start with the compote, combining all the ingredients into a pan and cooking over medium high heat until mushy, then reduced. Stir frequently. Remove from heat and set aside. Whisk together the egg and milk, dip slices of bread and add to a hot skillet until browned, flip once. Transfer to plate and place a dollop of cooled compote on each slice and drown with maple syrup. Serve immediately.

I made this compote up completely from scratch, and it was really good. The trick is that you don't want to make it too sweet because it's going to have maple syrup on it, so a nice tartness is what you wanna aim for.

Fuck ya! Pre or post sex optional.


  1. Never change, okay :) Love ya. Love the new blog look too!

  2. New blog look is smokin hot, Gurl! Love it :)

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