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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Funshit!

Been down for the count for a few days with some kind of illness (I’m hesitant to call it a flu, I don’t really know what it was – fever, chills, stuffy, sore throat, headache. I don’t know what you call that). Hence the no cooking or posting for me for the last few days. Unless you find cup-a-noodles and Neo Citran interesting fare, I have absolutely nothing to say, except to impart a bit of folkloric wisdom in the form of a disgusting yet effective tonic.

Warning: its taste is reminiscent of bilge water mixed with senior citizen urine, but it is effective. Very effective.

You will need:

1 teapot
1 clove of fresh, crushed garlic
5 drops oil of oregano
5 drops oil of cloves
½ whole lemon
Honey to taste
1 tablespoon hot chile flakes
5 pieces fresh chopped ginger

Add all these elements to your teapot and fill to the brim with hot water. Allow to steep for a few minutes, then drink until the pot is empty. Yes, I know, gross, but you wanna get better or what?

This is basically like a colon flush for your whole body and it will make you sweat like a whore in church on Sunday. While you are drinking it you will swear that you would rather drink hot lava mixed with baby shit than endure one more gulp of this evil brew. But you wanna let the virus win, or do YOU wanna win? The choice is yours. I say drink up, but that’s just me.

Today was my first day back at work, and Carri told me about the chicken channel. For real for real, there is a partnership between Swiss Chalet and Rogers that has resulted in the "Rotisserie Channel" which will show three chickens roasting over a spit in real time, on a continuous loop. 24 hour a day roasting chicken channel. Are you fucking kidding me? Full article here

I'm not saying this program is going to win an Emmy or anything, but I kind of love this idea for the same reason I love holiday log: it's a nice, wholesome thing to watch or do that not everyone gets the chance to, so why not enjoy it in digital form? It's not hurting anyone. So thanks Rogers for bringing Western-style roast chicken to the masses. GO CHICKEN CHANNEL! Now lower my fucking cable costs. Clearly you've got time on your hands.

8 comments:

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